Sunday, November 11, 2012

A kakak.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Most of the times, I will think she as an annoying one. Evil lady, I am :D She might lack in many things. But the fair ALLAH will as well grant her manyyy advantages. So, being envied and envy her are normal in my life.

I always look cruel to her. A childish elder sister, she is. I think I talk lots enough, but she talks much more than me. I think I am friendly enough, but she is friendlier than me. She might not be brave, but she sometimes has outstanding guts than me. She might not be independent, but sometimes she does things better than me. And, on certain things at certain times, her performance is much better than me.

Well. Our age gap is 5 years. She was 5, when I was born 19 years ago. I don't have many nice memories with her. My childhood was filled with my arguments with her ;D She was, and is, a strict elder sister. BUT, on certain things, I am more powerful than her.

Things between us are complicated. We sometimes are very close sisters, but we may turn into enemy sisters in only few minutes. I don't like people who assume we are same, when they give us same things and treatment. No we are not. She is elder than me, and I am her younger sister. We are different.

People around us, especially our family, will choose me as the bullier and she as the victim, if there's any bully case going on between us. I'm not that gangster, but her characteristics make me as one. People will think I will order her around, do this and that, because sometimes she is naive. SOMETIMES.

When we meet, it is impossible for us not to quarrel. There must be things that put us in fight. She used to be harsh with me, but as time passes, as I can fight her back, we prefer to quarrel verbally only :D Everybody knows that.

But there is something that people don't know.

No matter how much I hate her at some moments, no matter how much I get upset with her, no matter how many times a day I get angry with her, but somehow... At most of the moments, I am very grateful to have her as my sister. My elder sister. She, many times, appears when I need her. She spends money on me, just to please me. She cracks jokes, just to make me laugh. She will do all the chores, just to put me in normal mood again.

Sound that I am the one who is cruel here?

Told yaa. I really am cruel with her. But behind my cruelty, people don't know my gratitude to ALLAH for having her as my sister. Not because what she does or how much she spends. But more to what she sacrifices for me.

And yeah. 19 years passed, for me to have an elder sister like her. And she, 24 years for having me as her youngest sister. The situation is still the same. We get angry to each other everyday, but then we can laugh together within 10 minutes. We are being scolded everyday, but we used to it. So nothing more can change. Because somehow, our quarrels actually bring us closer.

But to be frank, our relationship is actually becomes better from year to year. So perhaps, in another 19 years, we will become much closer and better than today, kan? Insha ALLAH :)

Having an elder sister does not mean you are younger than her. At age, yes. But maybe not at thinking. She has the abilities, I have the ideas. So when we compile them, it would be great. Kan?

See.

Allah know the best. Why? Because He is The Best! :)

"Air yang dicincang, takkan putus."

~daddy's ladies :) ~

Wallahu'alam, wassalam.

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