Monday, January 9, 2012

Do not stay in comfort zone, instead, always create it.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Here I am, back to CFS in PJ. Back to room 901 with the same rommates as previous 1st semester. Everything seems similar, but still, there are many things different.

When I open my room's door, I will see the door of 902. The people of 902 of last 1st semester were my seniors, and one of them was my roommate in my 2nd semester. But now, on this 3rd sem, she's no longer here. She has finished her foundation and now currently waiting for the 30th Jan to come, so that she can enrol to IIUM Gombak to further her degree. I miss her, quite badly. Kak Krun was my guardian angel of previous sem, remember? :'(

My 901 is nearby to toilet, but my 106 was quite far. Due to my routine who used to walk spontaneously across two others' rooms before I reached my 106 on previous 2nd sem, I nearly went into someone's room last night as I passed my 901, headed to 906. Ohh. Seriously I was confused by the situation.

I don't know what I fear more, either I fear of being in level 9 again (rather than my previous precious level 1) or I fear of not being with my roomies on 2nd sem.

I have my buddies around me. Wani, Syaera as well as Brien. We were siblings before, and I really hope that we may remain as siblings in this 3rd sem. Seriously, I need time for myself to get used with them again, and this 901 as well.

Another story is about my classmates on this new sem. On previous two semesters, I was comfortable enough with my classmates. We met at first sem, and eventually we adapted ourselves very well. But in this sem, a few classmates and I will join another group which is majoritily not from our previous classmates.

Somehow, I feel burdened because of my appearance. Frankly talking, I was happy to have Artika, Marinah, Nadiah, Farah and few others who attended the class by wearing 'tudung labuh' like I did. But in this new class, I am not sure if there's anybody of this group wears the same tudung as mine. I know it's my problem for having such inferior feeling, but I could not help myself to not feel so. It will be an awkward situation if I cannot do well in classes, and all the people will automatically look down towards people who wear tudung labuh just because of me.

But then, when I reminisce about the news of my senior of MMP - Ukhti Fatimah Mukhtar who is unhesitately still wearing tudung labuh eventhough she is in Nottingham, UK , I then get a new strength to stay positive. Hope that this will last long.

Both stories above are about comfort zone. I was comfortable with the situation and surrounding of 106 and its people, but somehow I never can to have such situation again. I was happy with my classmates of previous semesters, but I myself am sure that it is impossible for me to have same classmates for every semester onwards.

That's why I'm teaching myself to not stay in comfort zone, but always create the comfort zones. So, whenever and wherever I am, I will be comfortable. Insya ALLAH.

Girls, please pray the best for me. I'm looking forward for a better me. I come here to study, not to stay pleasurely. For sure, there must be something that will give me other feelings, other than happiness.

Everybody who is normal will gonna to have problems in life. It's normal.

Wallahu'alam, wassalam.

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